Why self pleasuring is the ultimate act of self love

Why self pleasuring is the ultimate act of self love



Self love is making a comeback for 2016. More than ever, we are realizing how it is critical for healthy self esteem, emotional well being and happy relationships. There are many ways to practice, each being unique to different people, but I believe that whatever your practice, you need to include self pleasuring as part of this.


I’m a sexologist. My training has drummed into me the importance of self pleasuring as the foundation to pelvic health, emotional wellbeing and awesome partnered sex. Self pleasuring has been a key part of my own personal well being routine for years, has helped me heal my own emotional wounds, and made me feel more confidant in my body.


When we are looking for love outside of us, and wanting a partner to make us feel whole, self pleasuring is the best gift you can give to yourself. Think about it, what better way can you show love to yourself by literally making love to yourself?


You can go to bed every night with the person who loves you the most: You!


It’s tough, because as women, we are socialized not to be sexual. Even if we didn’t grow up in overly conservative or religious households, there is still a huge sex negative message that is given to girls when they grow up, and it sucks.


‘Don’t be a slut’, ‘Good girls don’t dress like that’.


Masturbating, or self pleasuring for women has been seen as a taboo for a long time. The statistics are uncertain, but in one poll in 2009, 28.5 % of women aged 25-29, 37.7% aged 30-39 and 25% aged 40-49% had not masturbated in the past year. These days with sex toys more easily available than ever, it’s becoming more acceptable but still, many women are nervous to try, or to make it a regular part of their routine.


If you need any more convincing, these are 5 reasons why I believe you MUST include self pleasuring as part of your self love and wellness routine:



  1. Self pleasuring is empowering. When you take charge of your own pleasure, you are not dependant on a partner to give it to you. Sure, it’s always much more fun with a partner. But when you know how to do it for yourself, you know that you can always have an orgasm if you are single or in a couple.


  1. Self pleasuring is taking your body back. Your body, and your sexuality are YOURS and yours alone. By self pleasuring, you are reclaiming your right to your own body, and to your right to pleasure.


  1. Self pleasuring relieves stress. While yoga and meditation are brilliant for finding inner calm, self pleasuring is another way to flood your body with feel good hormones like dopamine and epinephrine.


  1. Self pleasuring is grounding. When you are spaced out and disconnected, it’s the easiest way to open your root chakra, and bring you right back into your body. Try it and see!


  1. Self pleasuring increases your connection to yourself. When done as a meditation, or simply by placing your hands over your vulva, you are connecting to the deepest and most sacred part of yourself.


If you are new to self pleasuring, or just want some tips to make it even more fun, these my  suggestions:


  • Invest in a good vibrator. It doesn’t matter what kind- be it a bullet, rabbit, g-spot -as long as it feels good to you and makes you want to use it.


  • Invest in high quality lubricant, either water or silicone based that doesn’t contain glycerine. Trust me, it makes the experience much better.


  • Strengthen your PC and vaginal muscles. The stronger your muscles, the more control you have and the more connection you gain with your vagina. Do your kegels, or invest in jiggle balls, Ben-wa balls, or a high quality jade egg. Whatever suits you and feels right.


  • Practice makes perfect! If you aren’t used to self pleasuring, and don’t know your sexual response cycle well, then now is the perfect time to practice! The more you know how to pleasure yourself, the better you can enter partner sex because you know what works for you.


Now go and take yourself to bed, and enjoy!


Lucy Rowett

Lucy Rowett is a holistic sex coach, empath, writer and intuitive. Her mission is to empower you to live your juiciest life possible. She is the author of, 'Get Sexy! A Juicy Girl's Guide to Reclaiming Your Natural Sensuality', and is passionate about comprehensive and positive sex education. She writes about everything sex, spirit and transformation. She lives on the south coast of England, and can often be found drinking tea and reading.



Website: www.juiceandjasmine.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JuiceandJasmine/

Instagram: https:www.instagram.com/juiceandjasmine



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