Are you a pleaser?

Are you a pleaser?

Are You A Pleaser?

 

Do you ever find yourself giving more of your time or energy than you can really afford? Have you ever said yes to something when you wish you'd said no? It's great to help others but when it is at the extent of your own time or mental health, you may need to consider whether you've crossed the line to become a pleaser.

 

You might be a people pleaser if you often put yourself out to do things for others that cause you inconvenience or suffering in your own life, or if you compromise your own truth to please another.  If you notice that you're feeling resentful or are frustrated by the things you've offered or agreed to do for others, maybe it's time to reassess how you allocate your time, and consider learning to say no.

 

How To Stop Being A Pleaser

 

  1. Look at your life objectively. Write down all your commitments and work out how much time you're giving to projects that are not of your own choosing. How often have you agreed to take on a role to help out a friend or organisation and ended up stuck with a commitment you never really wanted? Look honestly at how you're spending your time, and if you're giving large amounts of time to causes you don't feel passionate about, take a deep breath and let them go.

 

  1. Assess your relationships. Do you have a toxic family member or friend who drags you down and makes you feel bad? Life is too short to sacrifice yourself for someone who is unwilling or unable to break out of negative patterns, so stop trying to please everyone and understand that in order to be true to yourself, you need to be honest and stop saying yes to spending time with negative people who drain you.

 

  1. Learn to say no. It can be very difficult to say no, especially when you want to preserve a positive relationship with the person who is asking for your time. Practicing some polite refusals can help you to find the words when you know you need to say no: "I'm sorry I don't have time to take on another project at the moment" will not give offence, and it's much better to speak your truth than to agree to something you know won't be possible and end up letting people down.

 

  1. Say how you feel. Part of being true to yourself is about owning your feelings and allowing yourself to share how you really feel. It's tempting to say what you think another person wants to hear rather than being honest, especially if honesty leaves you vulnerable, but pleasing others at your own expense is not a sustainable way to live, and both parties will end up hurting.

 

  1. Start small. It can be hard learning to step out of your role as a pleaser, but taking small steps towards this goal can make a huge difference to your life. Start by speaking your truth quietly but firmly, practicing in situations that do not matter at first, and work your way up to the really important issues. 

 

Join Us At Blisscloud

 

Join our tribe at Blisscloud today: sign up for tips, special offers and events.

 




Also in Blog

Yoga Stories - Karina - 'How Yoga Held Me Through Breast Cancer'
Yoga Stories - Karina - 'How Yoga Held Me Through Breast Cancer'

Karina Stewart is the founder ofPink Lotus Yoga (pinklotusyoga.co.uk)

Read More

Yoga Stories - Morgan
Yoga Stories - Morgan

Morgan found yoga 15 years ago as a way to recover from anorexia. It has carried her through her PhD, raising twin girls and in a move towards her passion she chose to pursue full time yoga teaching in 2012. Since then she has led several yoga retreats, co-owned a yoga studio (Yoga-on-Tay) and helped to develop a 'yoga for amputees' program along with Finding Your Feet (FYF) Charity. When she is not yoga-ing, or parenting Morgan competes for Scotland in ultra distance running and cross country. Morgan believes that yoga is for everyone.

Read More

How to be Happy, Gratitude Exercises to Practice Daily.
How to be Happy, Gratitude Exercises to Practice Daily.

Read More